You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
