Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
