atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize