just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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