I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize