I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize