...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
