I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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