I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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