What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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