Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
