I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
