we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
