Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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