People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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