She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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