he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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