I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
