Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
