He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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