Apparently you make a good broom.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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