All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
