This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
