jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My day in three words: secret purse cake
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize