brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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