her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
