He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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