threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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