I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize