The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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