we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
do nipples grow back?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
