Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
