Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize