ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
