Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
