I'm jealous of your bromance
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
how drunk are you?
Several
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
