i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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