K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
