I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
