Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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