All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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