I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
