no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
