Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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