Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
