My nipple is on Facebook.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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