We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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