i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
