My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
