drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
