Who did Billy Mays play for?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
