I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
