Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
COCAINE IS GR8
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
