You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
