Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
