...so i touched it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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