She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
