I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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