I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
