Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
