Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize