East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
