I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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