Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
