i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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