oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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