I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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