in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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